recently, a friend of mine who i will name S was a gd friend of mine. Very very gd friend. I told her my experiences and others of things. Darkest secrets,weird ones and even more! Just very very recently, i had a cold war with her. She went to follow another person i shall name A. She ignored me completely. i didn't noe wat to do? I felt betrayed, unwanted, left alone. I dun even think that she notice that? I am not jealous of something but it is kind of sad to see someone who u have been playing,chatting and treating her like a best friend turned into someone else best friend. Sudden changes turned me into both sides.

That tym I talked to Janet about it. I told her that she have not seen the worstest sight of me and she wouldn't want to see it because i can assure u it will look very very bad. To be honest, if you have been noticing me a lot. I dun noe why but sometym when i feel threaten or feeling not good, i sometym growl and do actions like dog. i dun noe. I felt that i was responsible for them, those who i noe. It is wat she told me:" I can choose who i wanna be wif n u should be more mature than me so u shouldn't say anything like u feel detrat...". You noe how much that hurts me!
I can't believe it?! Because i am experienced with A, i warned her abt it and i dun giv a damn if she wan to hang out with her. I remember there was once that she told me:" I wouldn't change my choose of friends just because of a single friend"
I rmb that very clearly. i rmb every word you said but wat u did to me is hurting me more and more

I ask vanessa and jacinth should i let you go completely, not interfering your life with her. Jacinth said that let go a bit and giv her some freedom. Vanessa said that she and jacinth felt being in the middle of me and her. Our problems. They dun noe wat to do. This incident made me very very very upset. I dun noe wat to say. I tried everyday in yr life just to make you happy but everytym u tried to make me sad and heartbroken. I dun wan to break this friendship. I lost the battle by talking to u first but you still ignored me. What do u wan me to do? Go onto the knee and beg you? I have step back for you to move forward but you are just not willing to. But nw i tell u, i will leave the space open for you forever. It is not that i hope that she dumped u but whatever happens, the space is still there for you to come and talk to me.

There were once Mdm Yati said,"Aries are people who trusts are the hardest to get and once you broke that trust, it will be very hard to put it back again." I have to agree with it but i let you hurt me a lot of times already. What else you want me to do? When i did my literature and chinese paper, i was tinking how to solve the problem. I didn't sleep well ytd

I dreamed that you have to cut off yr hands in order to keep yrself alive from some people who wants to make weapons using yr blood but i cut my foot off to replace yours. Your expression was blank and left on the bus to go home. I saw there, looking at the other foot,thinking if that was worth it anor. then i woke up.

Just a piece of my advice. Dun wait until she dumps you away. You will feel more heartbroken.

~My Melancholy~